© 2018 by ​élän lȳfe Consulting, LLC

November 2019

This is one of my all-time favorite books that I refer to often. 

 

Chris Voss brings his field experience as a former FBI hostage-negotiator to business (and parenting), making it an easy read as he brings in real-life stories to give you the take-away from each one. One of my favorite lessons is to always start with "No".  Most other sales books teach you to push for "Yes," but offering your counterpart the option to say no makes them feel as though they're in a position of power.  Of course there are many other excellent negotiating "tactics" in this book, but the one I find most interesting and useful is that above and beyond everything else, 
YOU. MUST. HAVE. EMPATHY.

To be a successful negotiator, you must be able to see the world according to the other person. 

Hmmm...how many other areas of our life is this true?

BOOKOF THEMONTH

Each month, I will add a new book to help you on your personal journey.  These are my favorites that have given me the knowledge to provide insight in life coaching sessions. 

 

moneymindset

January 2019

This is the book that took me from 15 years of:

"I should start a business helping people make a budget, but I'm not really sure how to make a living at it,"

to:

"OHMYGOSH!  I NEED TO BE A MOTIVATIONAL SPEAKER AND IF I CHARGE EVERYONE A LITTLE BIT, I CAN REACH MORE PEOPLE AND THAT WAY IT WILL BE AFFORDABLE TO THEM AND I CAN MAKE A LIVING AND I NEED A WEBSITE AND I NEED A BUSINESS NAME AND...AND...AND!"

In short, this book should get you fired up.

Warning:  Read this book before bed at your own risk. 

 

personaldevelopment

On and off over the past 5 years, my husband and I have visited a neurokinesiologist who explained that our bodies can hold emotions from traumatic events - emotions that may be different from our memory of the event - and that emotion may cause us physical pain.  While she is much more educated and experienced to handle larger and a wider variety of issues, we can now release some of our own trapped emotions - and those of our loved ones - with the muscle-testing technique described in The Emotion Code.  This is an excellent book to get you started on both physical and emotional healing.     

"The Work" is one of the most powerful tools I can think of to harness your conscious mind.  We all know we "should" let go, forgive, release, but the next question is always, "How?".  Byron Katie's "The Work" answers that question, by asking yourself  four questions.

In times where I have felt completely betrayed / disrespected / taken-advantage-of, I have used her technique to truly let go and more importantly not fear it happening again.  And once we release that fear, we stop attracting it.

The best part?  She selflessly offers the tools for free on her website, TheWork.com.

We have a tendency to say things about ourselves and others that describe our personalities, "She's so mothering" "He always makes things work out," "He's always got such a 'poor me' attitude."

 

Caroline Myss helps you explore your 12 main archetypes (from a list of hundreds) and which area of your life each archetype exhibits itself most strongly.  She includes meditative exercises to put your strengths to best use, see how the "shadow" side of the archetype can be your downfall, and how to use your awareness of the "shadow" to turn it back into a strength. 

If you're not interested in the history of  theology, I suggest skipping the first 120 pages.

August 2019

This book, in conjunction with its meditations used on a daily basis, truly is transformative. 

As I mentioned, we had a rough few months at the beginning of the year and I used the information in this book, along with the guided meditations, to literally break the habits I was having with my kids.

So, why am I just now posting about it in August?  Because I almost always try things out before suggesting others give it a go...and it took me several months to fully work through my automatic, limiting thoughts that were keeping me in the same place day after day.  As Dr. Joe Dispenza says, it's like an onion; you have to peel back the layers one at a time. 

In the book, he walks you through the "why" and "how" this meditation works, giving examples of success stories, and providing a script to create your own meditation (or you can buy his for $6). You've got nothing to lose but your old self.

November 2019

This is one of my all-time favorite books that I refer to often. 

 

Chris Voss brings his field experience as a former FBI hostage-negotiator to business (and parenting), making it an easy read as he brings in real-life stories to give you the take-away from each one. One of my favorite lessons is to always start with "No".  Most other sales books teach you to push for "Yes," but offering your counterpart the option to say no makes them feel as though they're in a position of power.  Of course there are many other excellent negotiating "tactics" in this book, but the one I find most interesting and useful is that above and beyond everything else, 
YOU. MUST. HAVE. EMPATHY.

To be a successful negotiator, you must be able to see the world according to the other person. 

Hmmm...how many other areas of our life is this true?

September 2019

I have written down more quotes from this book than any other. 

Lynne Twist has so much wisdom and so many mindset-shifting stories packed into this little book that it takes a while to digest it all.

She pulls from her experiences as a major fund-raiser for the Hunger Project - working with the poorest of the poor and the richest of the rich...often within hours of each other -  and her self-reflections on her own relationship with money to show us how we can choose to change our mindset from scarcity to sufficiency.  

Beyond that, she shows us how to see the humanity in everyone, illuminating and articulating the epidemic of soul-starvation experienced by the wealthy. 

There is enough. 

We have enough. 

And we are enough. 

You and me.

PARENTING

June 2019

After a few months of upheaval in our life, we were starting to see some major meltdowns with our biggest Little. 

With this book, we've made a lot of forward progress...not only with the Littles, but with the Bigs, too. 

And it's no wonder why.  The first chapter is on Empathy.  We ALL have a need to feel connected and understood; empathy does just that. 

My next big take away:  Making statements without Blame.  It's incredible to become aware of how often you blame in your daily thoughts and conversations!

Lastly, I appreciate how to give Praise without "rewarding" or inadvertently making it about you.  

As the authors say, it's like learning a whole new language, but it's one that will serve you well, not just in parenting, but in daily interactions with your partner, family, co-workers, and strangers.

 July 2019

What a strange, yet wonderful concept...

Our little human beings are innately intelligent in their need to have tantrums;  it is their way of releasing emotions.  Once they have released their emotions, they can return to the loving, giving, sharing, helpful beings they naturally are. 

I can't go into the detail of the book without much more space or you would think it's completely whack and refuse to read it, but I will tell you this:   I have experimented with my children with great success and this is one of the most REAL and down-to-earth books on emotions I've read in a long time.  The authors GET that you get angry, that you revert to being your parents, that you don't always love the job of parenting, that you have your own emotional issues that need to be released, too...and they give you tools to get through it.

Definitely geared towards parents of young children, but useful for all ages.